At the end of the day we all take a review of what we have done and then check in on what has to get done tomorrow. How we define our successes or failures in a day is up to us. We have the power to frame our viewpoint of the day.
How do you define “failure” in your life? Is it not getting the kids to school on time? Or maybe that one area in the house that hasn’t been dusted in a month? Or maybe you had a typo on the report at work?
It is easy to find all the imperfections in our lives. But that’s all they are: little spots in the wholeness that is our lives. Non-perfection is the reality of our world. No one has everything, at all times. Also, we all define our perfect lives as something different. To some it’s running a Fortune 500 company, while others, wish to teach skiing in Tahoe. What this means is that others (the external) cannot define our successes nor our failures. Only we have the power to control that perspective.
However, we do not have to ignore them...we get to USE them. Those thoughts can help us if we utilize them properly and in a healthy manner. Instead of taking them and holding them up as a mirror of judgement on ourselves, we can remove the emotion/pain/accusation and take those thoughts and viewpoints and make them feedback.
Feedback is positive, helpful to our self and others. This allows us to grow and learn. It also allows us to take a step back from our enmeshment in the day-to-day and see what comes us for us. Each unique “feedback” is a reflection of what makes us content. If the kids were late, why does that upset you? Is it because you want your kids to not be rushed in school to be their healthiest selves? Or is it really because the other parents/teachers/etc will think poorly of you? This is beautiful feedback on not just the practical (setting the alarm earlier, etc) but also on your emotional state. Take inventory, write it down, meditate, go for a walk…embrace this knowledge.
Failure does not exist except in the confines of our own minds. We judge ourselves, our actions, our “mistakes.” Let’s reframe that into just feedback. Take the facts of life and the actions we wish to take if we want to change something. Remove the judgement.