Self-pity is a choice. It is the action of turning our back on the world around us and living in ourselves. We get to choose which moment we want to indulge and which emotion we wish to live in. Our lives become defined by this. Every moment of the day, every conversation, every incident is viewed through the cloud of self-pity.
If self-pity is so unattractive and painful, why do we let ourselves revel in it at times? Because it allows us to simplify our world and gives us the ability to take some responsibility off ourselves. This misery changes the world around us. We can now justify every slight we perceive or insult we interpret. It is not our fault…it is others. We are not missing something…the world is.
Unfortunately, what happens is that our life begins to form around our excessive self-indulgence. People that care about us, cannot stand to be around us. Our rudeness discourages strangers from engaging with us. Any actions of self-care feel like too much effort. So what started as a moment of selfishness has not taken over our life. Our prediction of the world as dark and lonely has now come to pass, all though our own actions or inactions.
This cloud of self-pity comes to shade all things. However, while it may be painful and feel like work, we can remove this cloud and see the sun again. All we have to do is act, engage, share, and turn our face back to the world around us. Remember all the things you are grateful for. Write them down or recite them in the shower. Find your moment to appreciate all the things that you do have, not the things that you think are missing.